Divorce and the Family
Divorce is never easy. The whole family is involved. When it comes time to tell the children do it TOGETHER.

Tell them “Mom loves you. Dad loves you. There is nothing you did to cause this and there is nothing you can do to make it better.” Making the children feel safe, protected and loved is your biggest responsibility.

The principal at A Fair Way Mediation Center is Richard Gordon, B.A., M.A. & J.D. Mr. Gordon is a highly trained mediator. In addition to mediating divorces, he has served as a mediator, arbitrator, consensus builder, trainer and consultant to individuals, corporations, foundations and public organizations.
Mr. Gordon is a member of the Association of Conflict Resolution and the National Institute for Dispute Resolution. He is also on the panels of several volunteer associations

Mr. Gordon's clients welcome his ability to establish an atmosphere of trust and cooperation. He encourages creative problem solving, assists in making issues clear and intervenes when emotions hinder the process.

When you first hear professional mediator Richard Gordon talk about divorce, you may think you've enrolled in a self-help seminar at the Learning Annex. However, Gordon knows what he is talking about when it comes to the legality and brutality of divorce settlements. After all, he has been in the legal profession for over a quarter of a century. Gordon says, "A standard uncontested California divorce today costs about $20,000. In mediation, you can save almost $15,000 of that! That's why I say everyone is a winner in mediation-especially the kids. In this way couples control their own fate rather than allowing the court to rule on the family's destiny." Would you believe there is an attorney who takes more interest in his clients than money and even has a humanitarian approach to divorce mediation? It is difficult to conceive that is possible in the legal field, but Gordon says that's why he calls his business A Fair Way Mediation." In this office parties split the fee to avoid the appearance of prejudice." Gordon insists, "When you pay for something, even a good divorce becomes far more valuable to you in the long term." There are many times clients are even referred to therapists, because not everyone who comes to A Fair Way Mediation wants or needs a divorce. "My objective." Gordon states adamantly, "is to engender as much emotional peace as possible for the couple. It makes the process easier for everyone concerned, including me, in the long run."

There are many unusual stories around the mediation process Richard Gordon is able to relate, like the shortest marriage he has mediated. "It was ten days of marital unrest. And yes, it ended over the proverbial toilet seat! The longest marriage was forty-two years long. It died because the wife said, 'It just wasn't fun anymore." Whatever the situation when it comes to grand marital finales, Richard Gordon believes, "People would rather give it away in mediation rather than have it ripped away with a court order. That's why A Fair Way Mediation is a far more humane process."

Richard Gordon, B.A., M.A., & J.D., also handles alternative dispute resolutions such as personal injury claims, real estate matters, commercial disputes as well as gay and lesbian divorces.

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Why should I hire a Mediator instead of a lawyer?
Mediation is not about “Winning or Losing.” The Mediator helps both sides to reach an agreement more quickly than the court system without making either party “wrong.”  Mediation will allow the couple to avoid going to court. The fees are significantly lower than those charged by attorneys.

How much will this cost?
Each party is responsible for half of the hourly fee. This process is “pay as you go” so no large bills will be presented at the end of the process. In San Diego County the average, uncontested divorce can costs as much as $20,000.00. In Mediation rarely do fees ever reach $5,000.00.

Who prepares the paperwork required by the Court?
It is customary for the Mediator to prepare the Petition and other documents needed to complete the divorce process. Most important is the Marital Settlement Agreement. This is the contract between the parties which contains all of the provisions of their “deal.” The agreement will become a Judgment of the Court and is effective should one party not live up to its terms.

What issues can be decided in Mediation?
Any topics which need to be resolved. These include Child Custody, Visitation and Support; Spousal Support; Division of Assets, including Real and Personal Property and Retirement Benefits.

Is Mediation limited to “Traditional” marriages?
No, Mediators help Same-Sex marriages and Domestic Partnerships with the same issues faced by all married couples. They also help unmarried couples deal with Paternity issues such as custody, visitation and child support.